Curse

Xue Yi Liang · Dec 04, 2005, 03:37 AM // 03:37

OK. Hear me out.
Spiderman climbs walls and spins webs.
Antman can become really small and carry things many times his own weight.
Ice Man makes ice.
And you gotta admit, Superman does so much stuff it's pretty safe to call him "super."

But WTH is Batman? He can't fly like a bat - he has to use a grappling hook. Heck, he's not even blind like a bat. Face it, Bruce Wayne is just some rich guy with an unlimited budget who can buy his way into superhero status. Most superheros who can't fly have to run on foot - Batman drives around luxuriously in either a souped-up 1966 Caddy or some gas-guzzling politically incorrect SUV monstrosity. Is nothing sacred?

It's not fair that other superheros have to go through space travel, gamma ray exposure, dimensional exile and other hazardous origins ... but Bruce gets a free ride just because he can foot the bill. Yeah. Yeah. His parents were killed ... boo hoo. It's very sad but, of all the people in the world who lost parents tragically, why is Bruce the only one who gets to be a superhero?

I'll tell you why. Because he's a stinking rich boy!

Sure, he works damn hard at his job ... but so does the kid who mows my lawn, but I don't call him LawnBoy.

Batman is a sham. He's a complete phony - deceiving the public just to get his own comic. He is a disgrace to every mutant, alien and ubermensch in the superhero profession.

I rest my case.

Green Booger · Dec 04, 2005, 03:44 AM // 03:44

hes a superhero cuz he is VERY strong, skilled in martial arts-(he learned it i know), very intelligent, and like afraid of nothing...... thats what makes him a super hero plus he saves people

Xue Yi Liang · Dec 04, 2005, 03:45 AM // 03:45

Quote:

Originally Posted by Green Booger

hes a superhero cuz he is VERY strong, skilled in martial arts-(he learned it i know), very intelligent, and like afraid of nothing...... thats what makes him a super hero plus he saves people

Except for the martial arts you've also described Mother Theresa but she never got to wear a costume.

... besides, that still doesn't make him a "bat" - maybe he should be called "Rich Guy with No Powers But Lots of Gizmos You Can Never Afford"

Green Booger · Dec 04, 2005, 03:46 AM // 03:46

Lol Good Point

Xue Yi Liang · Dec 04, 2005, 03:48 AM // 03:48

... glad you see the truth ...

PieXags · Dec 04, 2005, 04:30 AM // 04:30

That phrase blind as a bat's bullshit, though. A bat could RED ENGINE GORED ENGINE GORED ENGINE GORED ENGINE GOin' fly through a mess of fishing wire strung throughout a room without gettin' touched. Pretty much the opposite of blind if you ask me. I think it's mainly his whole nocturnal bit. He comes out at night and knocks the living shit out of badguys. He's not like a huge "BOOM!" entrance person, it's always just a lamp moves and he's standing htere or something. He's wicked.

benmanhaha · Dec 04, 2005, 04:43 AM // 04:43

Quote:

Originally Posted by PieXags

That phrase blind as a bat's bullshit, though. A bat could RED ENGINE GORED ENGINE GORED ENGINE GORED ENGINE GOin' fly through a mess of fishing wire strung throughout a room without gettin' touched. Pretty much the opposite of blind if you ask me. I think it's mainly his whole nocturnal bit. He comes out at night and knocks the living shit out of badguys. He's not like a huge "BOOM!" entrance person, it's always just a lamp moves and he's standing htere or something. He's wicked.

then they should call him the night ninja.

chris_nin00 · Dec 04, 2005, 04:44 AM // 04:44

He's got half the name right!
No wait, nevermind.

joking around.

Xue Yi Liang · Dec 04, 2005, 05:03 AM // 05:03

Quote:

Originally Posted by PieXags

That phrase blind as a bat's bullshit, though.

Well, Batman isn't nearsighted then ... nor does he localize targets through sonar.

actionjack · Dec 04, 2005, 05:08 AM // 05:08

Its a Symbolic thing... for he is a man who would hunt you in shadow of your heart, like a bat in the darkness. Also Ninjaman was already taken...

maybe another explaintion... maybe he feel that a part of him is like a Bat..... and baseball bat.. and I won't say what part... but might be the reason why he wear undies outside his tights......

chris_nin00 · Dec 04, 2005, 05:16 AM // 05:16

Here's a thing for symbolicyirodglist!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wikipedia

After returning to Gotham in his mid-twenties, Wayne made several harrowing and near-fatal forays into the world of crime-fighting before donning his now familiar costume that was in part inspired by another tragic accident of his life that would have a profound impact on who he would become — at the age of six, he fell down a cavern, located beneath Wayne Manor (later to become the Batcave), that was swarming with bats, nocturnal creatures, wherein he was forever haunted by the event despite the timely arrival of his father. After a particularly fatal brush with the criminals of Gotham (his last encounter before donning the cape and cowl) Bruce sat in his father's study questioning his mission and seeking direction. A bat crashed through the window, and he took it as a sign that he should take on the appearance of a bat to strike fear into the criminal element, whom he thought to be "a superstitious, cowardly lot."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Batman#..._of_the_Batman

Merry Christmas to you all!

It still doesn't explain why he deserves it.

Xue Yi Liang · Dec 04, 2005, 05:18 AM // 05:18

don't even get me started on the whole "Robin"-thing

Sanji · Dec 04, 2005, 11:35 AM // 11:35

I have to agree that even though Batman is handy in a fight on top of being pretty smart, his super power pretty much amounts to being rich. :P

But that's not really my biggest problem with Batman. No, I'd have to say I'm more bothered that Arkham Asylum's security seems to consist of a sign at the exit that says "Please don't escape". It's hardly a place to detain the criminally insane for any extended period of time.

Pink Panties · Dec 04, 2005, 12:30 PM // 12:30

Maybe his super power is just being rich...

many other super heroes have to work to support theirselves. what do bruce wayne do? he party, he drive a benz, he can buy anything he want and people will listen to him.

if that isnt power... i dont know want is.

however, if we look from a comic pov... then obviously batman doesnt have any real super heroes power. but then again, what make him so interesting is his vengence for justice. batman to me is standing right at the line or wrong line. in his mind he is fighting for justice, however sometime he can get carry over and over do it. which make him the wild card cuz sometime he can really lose it.

heist23 · Dec 04, 2005, 12:34 PM // 12:34

his super power IS being rich.

along with martial arts and kickass gadgets.

hell, they even said it in Justice League. "Batman, you're the only one of us who doesn't have powers." that was said by that martian dude. i mean, seriously.

a bat? how bout....i dunno, maybe Samurai-Man? seriously.

Shinsei · Dec 04, 2005, 02:08 PM // 14:08

In my opinion, they're on the verge of making Batman too Spawn'ish, ie. too dark and narcistic. As much as I love dark and brutal heroes, I say leave it to Spawn and Lobo. (god i <3 Lobo)

If they want to save the Batman character, I say they make an edition featuring him cruising one fateful day above and beyond the speed limit, thus crashing into a truck of toxic waste. Every bit of batman melts except for his brain, which is retrieved by Alfred and with some high-tech equipment, hooked up to the belly of a giant robot, in which batman can continue his crusade, controling the robot with his brain.

(Inspired by Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles)

Xue Yi Liang · Dec 04, 2005, 02:12 PM // 14:12

interesting point about his superpower being rich ....

but then again ... that means Bill Gates pwns Bruce Wayne as a superhero since he's even wealthier ...

Divinitys Creature · Dec 04, 2005, 02:37 PM // 14:37

BAT = Bling and Technology

so he's Batman because he has bling as Bruce Wayne and technology helps him fight crime and the bat costume just came naturally since it goes well with the name :P

- I made all that up -

Makkert · Dec 04, 2005, 02:52 PM // 14:52

Well, when Bruce Wayne had met Wonderwoman who he charmed because Wonderwoman loves big bucks, Boy Wonder was born.
Since he had a superhero name, but not a cool one, they had to find a superhero that wanted Boy Wonder as sidekick. Unfortunately, nobody thought Boy Wonder was a cool name even for a sidekick, so none of the superhero's wanted Boy Wonder.
Therefore Bruce Wayne, being talked into it by his now demanding wife (kept secret offcourse, not to decrease sales of her comic book) WonderWoman, put on a Batsuit. WonderWoman found that Bruce looked good in black. So a lot of superhero names fell off because their custome wouldn't be black.
Being reminded of their stinky cave below their mansion where WonderWoman complained about because of the bats, he decided to put on a Batsuit. Bruce was getting bored of the nagging of Wonderwoman. He hoped it would appall Wonderwoman so much, that she would file a divorce, which would lead to him not losing half the capital as their marriagecontract said.

- sprung from the weird mind that is Makk's -

Dec 05, 2005, 02:48 AM // 02:48

Batman is a master of a million martial arts, and is rich. so naturaly why not spend all your cash on the latest and greatest technolagey. the bat is a symbol of fear, depending on how u think. batman was created becuse bruce wont lets his parents death go un-avenged. so hes on a fight to kill crime. tho i dont think he really kill. so he fights on and on, in the most crimeinfested rat holes to avenge his loss and prevent anyone else from suffering.